Getting To Yes by Roger Fisher & William Ury

Author:Roger Fisher & William Ury
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Joosr Ltd

Practice reframing and active listening

“Reframing” is a very useful technique of principled negotiation. Putting the other side’s words (or your own) in a different way can completely change the tone of a discussion. Sometimes it is used to defuse anger, as noted in the previous sections where the suggestion was to replace “blaming” language with a more neutral phrase: “I am feeling pressured”; rather than, “You are threatening me”.

Sometimes it allows others to save face, while giving you more options. “You are offering a price of $100,000, which is an option—in the same way that $20,000 or $200,000 would be. I think we need to discuss further how to come to an appropriate figure.” Such an approach may also encourage them to stick to standards of measurement: “Similar objects have sold recently at $50,000. Are you able to give an idea of why yours is worth twice as much as the market price?” However, the simplest use of reframing is simply to reassure the other person that you are actually listening to them.

Listening well is a skill that is often difficult to learn, especially in the midst of making a deal or carrying out negotiations. One way to help you do this is to occasionally stop and rephrase or summarize the points that the other side has raised:

“So, would it be a correct summary of your requests to say…”

“Just to recap then, you’re saying…”

“So, from your point of view…”

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